Embers And Ashes
by FarewellfromFaith
Summary: It started with a hope, a dream, a wish. It ended in a nightmare. Levi should know better, really. Sometimes, he really began to think that he was cursed, dooming those around him. (Rated for swearing, graphic depictions of violence, and VERY triggering topics later. You have been warned.)
1. Blood And Roses

_**...Chapter One: Blood And Roses...**_

It was the mission that should have never been, at least in Eren's opinion. Whoever the Female Titan was, they were deadly skilled. He couldn't help but hang his head in shame at the accusing glares and armor piercing whispers from the townspeople as they rode back into Karanese. He tried to ignore them, he really did. There were just too many to block out.

His shell-shocked mind didn't even properly register them arriving home, only snapping out of his daze when Armin began to tug on his arm. The poor blond had an expression of crushing grief and extreme worry, mixed with a hearty dose of fear. Of what, Eren didn't really want to know. They'd seen too much, experienced too much, for a simple spider to get to them.

"What are you doing, brat? Dismount."

Oh. So that's what. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir," Eren rushed to say, nearly launching out of the saddle to salute the Captain, Armin following suit. The shorter man just stared with that same terrifying, disinterested glare, his gray eyes giving away nothing but boredom. Pure, unadulterated boredom.

Captain Levi's eyes followed Eren as he regained his footing after being on horseback for so long, never once breaking his composure. "Be sure you don't ignore an order again. Help unload the bodies of your comrades, then you'll be on cleaning duty." He then turned on his heel and strode away, not looking back once. And not dismissing Eren and Armin. The two teens glanced at each other from their peripherals, beyond confused, then loosened their stances and followed their superior with their eyes.

Once he was out of sight in the castle, they dropped their salutes and rushed to help their fellow Scouts unload the bodies of people they thought of as friends. So many. Too many. Something Eren wanted to change with every fiber of his being. And something he now had the power to do.

Unloading everyone took longer than expected, since some of the higher-ups hadn't known about some of them being left behind, so the count didn't add up. After two hours, Armin and Eren were dismissed by Hange, whose goggles were pushed up and brows pulled together. Eren had never seen them* look so distressed, even after Sonny and Bean were killed not long ago.

Cleaning, though... Cleaning was the hard part, as he, Armin, and a few other Cadets had to go through the deceased corp members' rooms and clear them out to give their possessions, as few as were allowed, to the grieving families. Packing the civvies of people he had once ate with, had good times with, done a few stupid things while tipsy with, was heart shattering.

It was when he entered Petra's room that his calm broke, and he fell to the floorboards with his head in his hands as his body was wracked with dry sobs. Feeling a warmth spread from his hands down his arms, the teen glanced at his palms, his chest shuddering at the sight that met his gaze.

Fresh, dark red blood stained his sleeves. Seeing no wounds, he knew it had to be hers. The poor woman he might as well have killed with his own hands. Poor, poor Petra. It was his fault.

 _It was his fucking fault!_

Tasting bile, Eren shot to his feet and down the hall to the level's communal washroom, the door slamming into the wall. Captain Levi would _kill_ him if there were cracks in the tiles. The thought of his eminent demise meant nothing to him now; in fact, he'd welcome it.

He rushed to a sink, retching into the basin, but nothing came up. There wasn't anything to vomit anyway, he hadn't eaten all day and last night. His stomach calmed for now, he turned the facet to the hottest temperature it could go to, instantly sticking his hands under the running tap, falling backwards with a shout as he saw the water itself ran red.

He jumped to his feet to turn off the offending water, only to see it now ran clear. More shaken than he'd been in awhile, he held up his hands to see them clean, if red and steaming as they healed themselves. Eren shut off the tap, stumbling numbly to the room Petra had occupied not two full days before.

Once alone with the air and her limited belongings, he leaned against the door and slid to the floor, tears finally welling up. "I'm sorry... It should have been me."

The next day, the day of the funerals and the day Eren and his fellow Cadets brought the possessions to the families, wasn't any better. If anything, it was worse. The first thing that went horribly wrong was simply walking through the Karanese gates. His uniform alone drew too much attention, the box he carried just added more weight to the stares.

Finding the Ral home proved to be more difficult than he thought, even with a map, and the less than warm welcome at the door by the tall blond man, at least as tall as the Commander, and one and a half times as broad-shouldered, was enough to make Eren back up several steps into the street.

"Wha' d'ya mean, my little girl ain't comin' home?!" The man bellowed, drawing more than a few eyes in the dimming light of day.

Eren clutched the box tighter to his chest, then thrust it out to Mr. Ral with a bowed head. "I am deeply sorry, sir. These were her-"

He stopped, box falling with a dull thud to the pavement and head snapping back up to stare wide-eyed at Mr. Ral, who grabbed hold of the front of his shirt. "It was you, ya brat! Wasn't it? Ain't you the Shifter everyone's been talkin' about?"

Eren's mental cogs turned at a blinding speed, a bit too fast for his mouth to keep up. "I, uh, ye-yes sir. I am sorry sir-"

Whatever he wanted to say next was cut off by a small hand grabbing tight to Mr. Ral's wrist. Eren's gaze flicked over to the hooded person on his left, their eyes hidden but their mouth in a clear snarl. The man holding onto Eren was pulled off his uniform, and a bunch of red roses was thrust into his hand. "Need I remind you," an alto voice spoke from the hood, and Eren next looked down to the person's other attire. A long, blue skirt and black, heeled riding boots. Safe to assume his savior was female. "Mr. Ral, that it is a severe crime to injure a member of the military?"

"N-no," Mr. Ral said, backing up into his door, petals falling from the fresh cut flowers. Eren tried to not compare their color to that of blood, but the hallucinations of yesterday were as fresh as the roses.

"Please leave." The words were punctuated by the slamming door, the force of it blowing Eren's hair back. The hooded woman snorted, turned on a thick heel, and started down the street away from the befuddled teen. Several moments passed before he collected himself again, and he took off after the woman.

"Miss! Please wait!"

"Why should I?" she snapped back, not turning back for a second as the sharp click of her heels continued.

Eren caught up to her, still having to power walk to keep up. She may have been short, shorter than the Captain, but she was _fast._ "I want to thank you, miss-"

"That's Ma'am to you," she barked, cutting him off once again.

"Ex-excuse me... Ma'am?" he asked, now nearly at a jog as she sped up, trying to lose him.

"Just ask your Commander. He'll know." And here she turned into an inn, leaving him reeling. The only people who spoke like that were commanding officers... Right?

 _ **One week later**_

Eren was left in the dark by Commander Erwin and Captain Levi, unsurprisingly, until the day it was announced at mess that a new training regime would start that very afternoon. His fellow rookies didn't dare groan with the cold, nearly unblinking stare of the Captain on them.

"Three teams of Military Police elite will be arriving here today to train you in advanced hand-to-hand combat!" Their Commander's voice rang crystal clear through the hall, the only sound that anyone made as the members of the Survey Corp listened to each and every syllable like it would be the last thing they'd ever hear. "From now on, we cannot assume someone is an ally simply because they are human in appearance."

Eren felt several pairs of eyes flick to him in time with one another, a heavy weight lifting from him as they returned to Commander Erwin. Not all of it, however, as the Captain's gaze remained trained on him. Hesitant, he met that gray colored gaze, and to his eternal shock, the Captain gave a polite nod. A _nod!_

"Dismissed!" finished the Commander, and Eren shook his head as he came back to the present. Both commanding officers left, Hange close on their heels, and chatter slowly trickled back to the occupants of the mess hall. From what he paid attention to, it was about these supposed hotshots from the MPs that were going to be teaching them. What did they have left to teach that they hadn't learned in basic?

Less than twenty minutes later, tables had been cleared and the Survey Corp stood in orderly rows, hands in tight fists crossed at the wrists behind their backs. With cloaks being required today, the heat was sweltering in full uniform. Lucky for them, it wasn't long before a group of fifteen horses rode in. Familiar green cloaks fluttered behind the riders, Military Police patches visible even from half a mile away. The entire point of having them so large.

The riders stopped short of the Corp and dismounted, quickly falling into three rows of five based on rank, team leaders in front. Hoods were flung back, and the whole group started forward as one, their horses staying where they were without being tethered. The MPs moved like a well oiled machine, fifteen boots falling in perfect time as they walked in front of the Survey Corp, still in sync as they about faced, saluted, and fell into stance, eyes staring ahead and not focused on anything in particular.

It was... Beyond intimidating, and Eren's comrades who were beginning to squirm clearly thought so as well. As Captain Levi's gaze flicked to them, they went still again, trying to mirror the MPs, but failing.

Eren started in surprise at the familiar face of a young woman at the end of a line. Annie had come along, too. The Commander saluted as well, that was clear from his back, then said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear with clarity, "Captain Lauri Jarvi, First Lieutenant Amaya Nieves, Second Lieutenant Dmitri Yenin."

The named officers stepped forward, saluting once again. A tall brunet man, about 6'0", with steely blue eyes, broad shoulders, narrow hips, and biceps obvious even in uniform said, "Captain Jarvi, sir!"

Next was a short, reddish-brown haired woman. She stood about 5'2" at the most, had a smattering of freckles across her nose, dark amber eyes, and a severe bun, and she spoke with an unwavering alto, "First Lieutenant Nieves, sir!"

Last of the named officers was a man of average height with a stocky build with close cropped black hair and eyes so dark they nearly matched, calling out, "Second Lieutenant Yenin, sir!"

"I welcome you to the headquarters of the Survey Corp. Thank you for accepting our invitation," said Commander Erwin, and Yenin and Nieves nodded. Jarvi, on the other hand, simply smiled.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Hm? I see no reason to not... Permission granted."

Jarvi's smile grew, almost to a full blown grin. "You have met our commanding officer. He didn't give us a choice."

There was a stunned silence, broken after Erwin barked a short laugh. "Is that true, Lieutenant Amaya?" There was a silence again, and Eren had to peek around the Cadet in front of him to see her clearly. He bit his lip when he did so; she was glaring, her eyes chips of jewel colored ice, at the Captain.

Well, this was going swimmingly. Nothing wrong here.

* * *

I had felt a _presence_ since dismounting, and had glanced around to find the source after introducing myself. Not really expecting it to come from a man not much taller than me with dead looking eyes. Or just really bored. Knowing our military, it was healthy mix of the two, and they made for a truly dangerous combination.

 _It can't be..._ I thought. _**That's** Captain Levi? Ha... This should be fucking fun. A really big hoot. **That** was supposedly Humanities strongest? Humanities shortest maybe… oh shit I'm shorter, that doesn't work._

"... Nieves?" The voice of Commander Erwin finally got through, and I nearly jumped. Nearly, mind you. I managed to keep a straight face and stance.

"Hm? Yes, sir?" I asked, tone as bored as the midget Levi's gaze. "I apologize, could you repeat the question?" _That's it, May. Teach those kiddies who is smarter, who is better. Okay, not the kids. Captain Levi._

Even in my mind, I kept up the chain of command and rank. I had to, if I ever wanted to become a Captain in my own right. And this mission just might propel me forward, unsurprisingly difficult when you are half a foot shorter than your peers, even the other women. I _had_ to pull this off. Looking over the Cadets, that would be a bit harder for some. They looked determined, but we'd see how long that would last.

A few stuck out to me. Though only just a few; a blond, male and stocky, another female, lean, rather pretty looking black hair, and with an expression to rival Captain Levi's. A very tall brunet man, although his face was a bit too kind. And a familiar teen with short brown hair and green eyes.

So, Eren Yeager really was here. And they were letting him out and about, not experimenting? When had Hange gone soft? _Most intriguing._

"Wouldn't you like to explain what happens next?" asked the Commander.

I nodded, his true meaning clear as a bell. 'Stop staring, you're causing a scene.' He really had a way with words and double meanings, didn't he? "Of course, Commander. Cadets!" They jumped. Ooh, this would be fun... "We will be splitting into groups to judge your ability. Please don't stick with your friends, that will just make this complicated."

"I'll pick the groups," said Captain Levi, and my lip tried to curl at how deep and rich sounding it was. That wasn't _fair._ Damn him. "And I'll be joining you."

"So be it," was what I said out loud, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of rattling me. I waved a gloved hand to the lined up Cadets, giving him the go-ahead, even though he didn't need it from me. I was ranked under him, after all.

But rank be damned if this bastard was involved. _I_ would be the one to be Humanity's strongest soldier!

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! A special thank you goes to my new beta, and another AoT/ SnK fanfiction author: Frantastic1993! She's a real gem, and so is her fic Red Burning Wings. Also, I feel I should mention this _loosely follows_ canon.  
**

 ***I'm going by the manga for this, and Hange's gender isn't yet revealed. Until further notice, they/them pronouns will be used.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not or claim to own AoT/ SnK. I only own my OCs and the plot.  
**


	2. Fan The Flames

_**...Chapter Two: Fan The Flames...  
**_

I would not, could not, let this man rattle me. I had too much to atone for to be sub par. I kept my expression carefully blank as I looked him up and down, trying to get a feel for what he'd use to attack with. He was built like Annie, compactly muscled, lean; this most likely meant I had to watch his legs. "As you wish, sir. Pick the teams as you see fit."

"Firstly," the Captain began in that stupidly attractive voice of his. _No,_ do not think attractive! Gravely, there we go. "A demonstration of the technique you will be using, please."

So, he could play the 'I don't like you, but I'll keep up appearances' game as well? Well done, ya short bastard. At least my height was considered cute, what about yours? "Right. Cadet Annie Leonhart, Lieutenant Dmitri Yenin, if you would assist me?" Both nodded, stepping forward while the other Military Police moved back, giving us plenty of room to spar. "To begin, you will be in groups of three. Both to learn to work with another to take down a single target, and to learn how to fight multiple opponents at once." My gaze shifted over the gathered lower ranking officers, most of which were trying to keep their stances, but some, like Eren, were leaning around taller members to see what was going on.

The Commander saw this as well and his lips twitched in the barest hint of a smile. "At ease, men. Take a seat until the demonstration is complete." Quick to follow an order, the group found the most comfortable patches of grass they could and sat. The corner of my lips quirked up in a smirk at the relieved sighs some emitted and rolled my neck before pulling off my cloak, handing it to Lauri with a small smile, then tugging off my gloves and shoving them in into my jacket pockets.

"Alright, then. Cadet Leonhart, we'll be going for Lieutenant Yenin." The blonde nodded, expression remaining grim but now with a clear purpose, and began to circle her superior. I followed, keeping a distance between myself and her. Dmitri's gaze flicked back and forth from the two of us, stiffening when we stopped for a second then charged forward at a silent signal. We both kicked with our left legs, aiming for his knees, but he jumped over us with ease and rolled a few feet away. My shin connected with Annie's, making me grimace from the jarring pain. Damn, the girl was strong. The fact that she didn't flinch or hiss in pain seemed just _off_ to me.

We lowered our legs, both hopping back to face our opponent. Dimitri crouched for another moment, then rushed up and punched out at me. He misjudged it by a fraction of an inch, and it brushed my cheek instead of hitting my jaw as I leaned to the side. Using his temporary unbalance and the fact he faced away from her, Annie used the tip of her boot to kick the back of his knee, and his right leg dropped from under him as he landed on his left knee.

I saw his grimace, and tried to return the favor he had dealt, aiming a right hook for his cheekbone. He ducked under it, again rolling away then jumping to his feet and facing the two of us. Annie hopped back a few feet, her fists up by her face. She was maybe two inches shorter, and her punches weren't nearly as strong as her kicks, so I'd have to get him down lower for her to take him out.

Probably not wanting to face another of said kicks from the Cadet, Dmitri picked the lesser of the two evils and rushed me, his own fists held closer to his collarbones. I curled my fingers and thumbs in tight, keeping my palms open. When he was close enough, I moved forward as well, catching him off guard. While he was trying to backtrack, I hit out at his nose, and if I had used any more pressure I would have sent the cartilage into his brain. Instead he got one hell of a bloody nose, and one wrist came up to stop the flow. As he hesitated again, I moved about a foot behind him before sending a roundhouse kick to his knees.

Dmitri stumbled forward, straight to the Cadet, who also kicked at him, aiming and landing a solid hit on his chest. I winced as he toppled back, falling on his ass, one hand holding his ribs and the other still to his nose. He panted for another few moments as the Survey Corp remained silent, then fell to the grass with a groan. I smirked and waved Private Aza Boye, the youngest of our squad besides Annie, 5'5" and with light brown hair, forward to tend to him. I glanced to Commander Erwin, my brow raised in silent question.

The slightest hint of a smile graced the Commander's lips, his own brow raising. "I believe this match is over. Any arguments, Captain Jarvi?" Him asking wasn't necessary, and it confused me. Still attempting to catch my breath, I glanced between my commanding officers, my jaw clenching as my gaze met that of Captain Levi. As our eyes held each others, I felt bile rise in my throat and the edges of my sight were tinged with red. From anger or the after effects of being hit one too many times, I didn't know. That said, I couldn't let the prat Levi see my discomfort.

"Sir, no, sir." My sight cleared a tad, and I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I nodded politely as I saluted again, my breathing finally even. Captain Levi quickly paired together two of his own Cadets and other lower ranking officers with a member of the Military Police, leaving myself and Annie without groups.

I waved her over to me, and she complied with the same, blank expression, no light reflected in her pale eyes even in the brightest part of the day. "Go get some water Cadet, both for yourself and the others when they're done."

"Not so fast, Cadet, Lieutenant." _Really? Of all times for him to butt in..._ I mentally growled and slowly, deliberately, turned to face Captain Levi.

"If I may ask, sir. Why are you stopping her?" I could feel the sun beating down on my face, bringing a bead of sweat to my brow and probably lightening my eye color to almost gold.

" _All_ the Cadets are practicing today. Is that clear, Lieutenant?" His tone gave away nothing, but his eyes bore into my very soul, lighting a fire in my gut and making the hairs on the back of my neck rise. From fear or anger, I didn't know nor care.

"Clear as a bell, sir," _I pity the poor soul fighting her, though._

"Good. At least you're not a complete moron. Cadet Leonhart, was it?" He turned his steely gaze from me to the younger woman, who nodded silently, shaking one hand to loosen the muscles. "You and I will be a pair for now."

"So who are we fighting, sir?" Even her voice was empty. She was past uncanny, this teen was plain unsettling. She followed his gaze, as did I, until he turned back to me. Fuck it all. I'm deader than Annie's emotions.

Sighing through my nose and rolling my eyes in annoyance, I balled my fists and brought them back up to about chin level, much like Annie. The other two did the same, one on either side of me. Levi stared off with a high punch that would have hit my temple had I not ducked, and at the same time Annie aimed a sweeping kick at my knees. I sidestepped it in the nick of time, catching her ankle and tugging her to the dirt.

She flipped back to her feet with grace, much more than most people her age, and she and the Captain attacked in time again, this time doing the opposite of what they previously had tried. Annie punched out, a little too low, and instead of connecting with my jaw it went past my neck. Easily avoidable.

Captain Levi's kick to my ass wasn't as avoidable, and I hopped on one leg to keep from falling and losing all of my dignity. It was then I noticed Annie falling as her punch missed. She tried to catch herself but her left foot landed wrong with an audible crack, and she went down hard with a landing as brutal as her punch would have been. She was shorter and had less muscle tone, but every hit felt like cannon fire. She sat up a split second later, scooting to the edge of where Levi and I were now fighting solo.

For the first time since the sparring match began, with Cadet Leonhart sitting on the edge of the ring holding her ankle, she had the faintest fire of anger burning in her eyes. There was something I had to look deeper for, something that looked too much like fear. I'd known her as a sociopath for so long, I couldn't help but stare. She hadn't even blinked when Dmitri's rifle misfired two weeks prior, and so many things went and brushed past her normally, right now just seemed to be a complete paradox.

My lack of attention to my other opponent would prove to be my undoing.

Levi saw my distraction as an opportunity to send me flying as well, and the side of his hand came up with a speed I doubted could be rivaled, landing a hit square between my eyes. I felt something pop as I stumbled back, my sight turned into a flat white field, the others only visible as slightly darker splotches of color. I closed my eyes, knowing that my other senses would have to take over for now. I heard air rushing to me, and sidestepped away from what had probably been a full-force sweeping kick. I felt the vibrations of the earth as his foot landed and there was a split second as he stood as still as statue, less than two feet from me.

There was another rush of air, higher this time, and I ducked under the Captain's punch. At the very last second, I realized that the punch had been a dupe, and his foot connected with my right knee. I groaned, my eyes snapping open, as my leg went numb and I fell on my ass. My vision was marginally better, enough for me to see his face a little too up close and personal as he leaned down to hiss for only me to hear.

"I don't know what you think you can do here, you overpaid drunkard. You're just like the rest of the MPs; corrupt, complacent wastes of space. Every single last one of you are too busy pissing your pants from the fucking thought of Titans to realize you used to be the best shot we had at beating them. Now you sit in the interior, too fat and drunk to do anything but sell off equipment that should go to the other regiments."

His words rekindled the fire of hatred, and my lips curled in a snarl as I kicked out at his ankles, making him fall with a very, very satisfying thud beside me. His eyes and jaw tightened and he raised a fist to sock me again when the voice of the Commander, beyond furious, broke through our bubble of rage. "Enough! You two, my office, on the double!"

Our glares met one last time, and we hopped up to chase after our commanding officer, both of us with the faintest limp and staring at nothing.

* * *

Levi was fully ready to blame the out of control fight on Lieutenant Nieves, but remained silent until they reached Erwin's office. The space could use a good organizing, but there were slightly more pressing matters to attend to. The _most_ evident, ripping the tiny ginger a new one.

As soon as the door closed behind the trio, the midget began speaking in that obnoxious voice. Honestly, Levi had never heard a woman with such a deep tone. "Commander, I can explain-"

"Don't." Erwin calm gaze flicked between the two in front of him as he leaned against the edge of his desk. "Whatever is between you two, it stops _immediately._ We are all walking on eggshells as it is, I will not allow you two to fan the flames of distrust and distension within the ranks to an all-out bonfire."

"Sir, yes, sir," mumbled Amaya, her voice meek. Pathetic. She refused to meet the eyes of her superiors, instead staring at the scuffs on her boots.

"You're dismissed, First Lieutenant Nieves," and with that, the thorn in Levi's side was gone. For now, anyway.

"If that's all, I'll be heading out as well," the Captain said, already half out the door when the Commander spoke again.

"Not so fast, Levi." The named man froze for a second, his jaw clenching and grip on the door knob tightening. He then spun on his heel, door slamming behind him, and plopped gracelessly into the chair opposite Erwin, his brow raised in silent question. Erwin raised his own, a dare to argue like normal. For once, Levi didn't take up on it, and Erwin sighed in disappointment, turning away to step around the desk and sit down in his large, overstuffed chair.

The Commander placed a hand under his chin, resting his elbow on the armrest. He studied his subordinate for a moment more before asking, "What happened back there? I've seen you not like people on sight, but that was clear hatred."

Levi rolled his eyes, crossing his legs and leaning back in the chair, "Hell if I know. She's just... Annoying to look at. And she's an MP. What other reasons do I need?"

Erwin barked a short laugh, pouring himself and Levi cups of coffee from the pitcher that sat on the corner of his desk. Levi took the offered cup after raising a brow again, having to fight himself to keep from smirking. "How about insubordination, which she hasn't done yet? Or her trying to attack you for no reason, which is what you did, and forced a Cadet to help do?"

Levi sipped his coffee, seeing no reason to dispute the truth, but also wanting to get a few words of his own in. "I've also heard stories about her. Her past, should I say?"

" _You_ have no right to fault someone for their past actions. You have just as much red in your past as she, if not more. Dismissed." The Commander had yet to touch his drink, instead filling out an unknown form as they spoke. Levi chugged the last of his own drink, carefully placing the cup upside down on the tray it had come from and leaving, the click of his boot heels echoing off the empty halls. Strange. Must be dinner time.

He followed the now familiar path to the mess hall, the chatter of dozens eventually meeting him as he tugged open the heavy oak door. Levi's lip curled as he saw a group of Cadets surrounding Lieutenant Amaya as she smiled calmly, saying something he couldn't hear over the din. _His_ Cadets, he noticed as he neared them.

Hange was sitting two benches down from the group; close enough to hear what was being said but not so close as to be pulled into the conversation. A wise decision. Then again, it was Hange. They were the brilliant one of the Corp. Sitting beside them, Levi thought how odd it was that even he and Erwin didn't know their true gender. Just another close guarded secret, he supposed. "Hey, Shitty-glasses, what are the idiots doing swarming Nieves like flies, or have they actually given up all humanity and turned into the fucking pests?" Hange just snickered, held a finger to their lips, then pointed using that finger at the group not far from them.

"So, how long have you been in the military?" Sasha asked, and Levi crossed his arms, leaning them against the table. This would probably be his only chance to learn more about his little thorn.

Said thorn smiled again, warmer than last time but still slight, hesitant almost. Like it was something she wasn't used to doing. "I joined at twenty. I'm twenty-seven now."

"Wow! So, with two years of training, you would have been in the Military Police for five years, huh?" Next to question the visitor was Krista, Ymir with an arm around her shoulders and glaring at Reiner, who had been staring at her as she spoke.

"That's right. My team, the 7th Brigade, has been together since then. Seven of us were from the same class, myself included. Two of the others joined the Garrison, and the last of the top ten joined your division." She, like Levi, was leaning on her crossed arms, her head tilting to the side as she spoke.

"Really? Do we know them? Are they here?!" asked Eren, his face lighting up as he moved closer to his superior. Levi's brows pulled together as Amaya's expression fell, her entire body sagging. He had to strain his hearing to catch what was said next, although he wished he hadn't.

"She was, uh... I think you knew her, her name was Petra Ral." The mess hall fell quiet, all sharing in the sudden onslaught of grief. The heavy silence remained until Amaya spoke again, slightly green and veins in her neck visible, "I think I'm, uh, going to head to bed early. I'll see you all tomorrow at training." She stood without waiting for a response, jogging out of the hall after grabbing a full bottle of wine from the center of the table.

Levi snorted, even though he was starting to wonder why Petra had never mentioned her. She spoke of the rest of her graduating class often, but never once brought up Amaya Nieves. His confusion deepened when he caught sight of the Cadet from earlier, Leon-something, walking out at the same time. Without a limp. Levi had seen her ankle twist, had _heard_ it, so she shouldn't have been up and about for three days at the least.

He wasn't the only one who noticed, apparently. As he turned back to Hange, who had asked him something, he saw Cadet Arlert, eyes scrunched together, staring after her as well.

The fuck was going on here?

* * *

 **A/N: I'd like to thank you all again for reading. And yes, both Levi and Amaya have a very bad case of potty-mouth. A big thank you to my amazing Beta, Frantastic1993~! You truly are a gem, girly! Also, thank you to author12306 and ZeldaFreak93 for their kind reviews. I also want to apologize for not getting this up sooner, it was my birthday yesterday, so busy day.  
**

 **Disclaimer: Oh, I wish I owned Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin. But I don't. I'm only using the characters for some amusement.**


	3. Mental Scars Take The Longest To Heal

_**...Chapter Three: Mental Scars Take The Longest To Heal...  
**_

I felt the burn of several pairs of eyes on the back of my neck as I dashed out of the mess hall, my pace quickening when the tall doors closed with a resounding click of the latch. I was almost to a sprint when I reached the top of the first staircase, slowing when my foot caught on the last step. My knee knocked against the aged wood, the same one Captain Levi had kicked just two hours earlier. Grumbling, I picked myself back up while checking the bottle for any cracks. Sighing as I found none, I finished the trip to my borrowed room, kicking the door closed.

I didn't even sit before I popped the cork, sending it to some random corner of the room. Oops. Shrugging, I chugged straight from the bottle as I plunked down in the wooden desk chair. I wanted to get as drunk as possible, _fast,_ and the mess hall had been out of the really hard, 'kick-you-in-the-face' type of alcohol. Cheap wine it was.

When a quarter of the bottle was gone, I set it down and stood up to finally take off the uniform jacket and the stupid straps of the ODMG. As the first buckle came undone, I felt like I could breathe for the first time in two days. My chest, if it had sentience, would no doubt be thanking me when the straps were also thrown into a far corner to be hunted down the next morning. I rolled up the sleeves of my button-up and stretched my tense arms.

My head feeling fizzy already, I stumbled back to the table and grabbed the bottle, then continued until I was at the windowsill, and the chair that was beside it. Graceless, I sat back down before I could fall on my face, which would only end in weird bruises that would make me a laughing stock for who knew how long. Snorting at the thought, I rested my other elbow against the sill and glanced out.

My gaze was first drawn to the bright half-moon that was partially covered with wispy clouds. As one passed, the grounds below were lit with a silvery glow, and my eyes flicked to a moving shadow. The edges of my vision had gone blurry, but I could still make out what it was, sighing at my high-strung reaction. Just a willow tree in the wind. Rolling my eyes, I was about to settle back down when a second moving shadow caught my attention.

This time, it was someone running through the grounds. Which meant there was someone on the grounds that wasn't supposed to be, or someone was breaking curfew. Neither was ideal, and both meant someone would have to deal with the offender. Groaning through my nose, I stood and almost immediately fell over.

My next two choices were also a little too much for me in my current state. Either I find another commanding officer, or I track down the wandering soul myself. I then remembered that most people were sleeping or still in the mess hall, probably no better off than myself. Picking up my jacket and pulling it back on hard enough I heard the seams stretch, I leaned against the walls as I walked as slowly and carefully as I could to the lowest level, the candlelight from the mess hall shining under the door.

As I was about to open the door and ask for another officer, it swung open from the inside and out walked the Captain, his lips twisted into a snarl. The man just didn't know how to make a pleasant expression, did he? He saw me standing there struggling to stay on my feet and his already shadowed eyes darkened.

"The hell do you want?"

"Oh, nothing sir," I shot back, my brain having no filter at the moment. Fuck it all, just _stop,_ May. "Just taking care of a little issue."

The shadow lifted a tad, but his eyes narrowed. I didn't know what was more terrifying. " _What_ issue?"

What little sanity I normally had, had apparently just taken a flying leap out the window, as it occurred to me to sass him back. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I smirked and continued down the hall ignoring him calling me by my full name. When I didn't hear someone chasing after me and the front door opened, I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding. Since when did I have a death wish?

Squinting in the dim light the moon provided, my boot heels tapped against the flagstones as I strode through the courtyard, my gaze shifting lazily around. I was even more drunk than I had originally intended, and this night was just one bad decision after another. I should have never accepted the invitation to come here.

Funny, the things you think when the thoughts are least welcome.

I followed the path through the trees to the willow where I had first seen the figure, although I knew they'd more then likely be long gone. I decided to check anyway; you never knew when there could be trouble, right? Or was that just my way of thinking? _Probably just you, May,_ I thought as I pushed a few hanging branches out of the way. As I did, I caught a flicker of golden hair from my peripheral, and spun to grab the person by the arm.

My luck that night had apparently taken a nose dive, and my ankle didn't keep up with the rest of my body as I turned, causing me to fall hard, my head hitting a root. As my sight darkened, I saw whomever was stalking around so late at night approach, but the world went black before I saw who it really was.

Everything lightened what seemed to be seconds later, and I groaned and covered my face with an arm. Figuring it best to get up and face the hangover, I let my arm fall and sat up. Only, as I glanced around in confusion, I wasn't at the Survey Corp base, nor was I wearing my uniform. Instead, I wore a long green dress, and was seated under a tall oak in the Stohess District, the place of my birth.

 _Oh. So I'm in a dream..._

"There ya are, May!" I turned to see my older brother Bolivar walking up the hill towards me, and glowered.

"Well, look who it is! What do you want?" I snapped, standing and walking to the tree, swinging myself onto the lowest branch.

"Me? Nothing." He kept walking towards me, and I climbed higher to get away from him. Noticing this, he stayed on the ground. His fear of heights probably also played a part in it. "Mother and Father are looking for you, though."

I snorted and sat as close to the top as I could without the branches creaking. "Ha! If you hadn't been a douche-canoe and gotten me into trouble along with you, they wouldn't be looking for me!"

"Hey, it was one small, insignificant vase, nothing too important!" he called, looking hurt at the name. Something about this scene was starting to feel familiar, and it didn't sit well with me.

"It was part of Mother's dowry, and made by her grandfather!" I countered, still glaring and tempted to tell him to fuck off.

He sighed in defeat, and I puffed up with a smirk. Amaya, 1; Bolivar, 0. "Fine, okay, okay. You got me. I don't really want to go back either, so can I show you something?" He glanced up through the leaves with a puppy-dog expression. One he knew I couldn't fight.

I was the one defeated now, and began to descend the trunk, finally landing next to the much taller teen. In this particular time, if my memory served me right, I was sixteen, he nineteen. Based off the ages, I started to want to pinch myself to get out of it. This wasn't a dream; it was a nightmare.

I couldn't stop myself from saying, "Lead on then, brother dearest."

He shot me a toothy grin, grabbed hold of my hand, and began to lead me back to the city. We slipped a bit down the hill, laughing as we did so. Our trip through the city was quick, and I was confused again when he led me into a small, unassuming building. "Brother? Where are we?"

He didn't answer save for a small smile as he pushed the door open, grip tightening on my hand as I tried to pull away. I felt the sting of tears begin on my cheeks, and started to pull again, stopping only when we entered the main part of the building as I glanced around in wonder. Several skylights let in the dazzling golden sun, and it reflected off silver candelabras and the gold-leaf stamped onto the spines of books. Bolivar released my hand as I began to wander, my finger running along the spines as I read the titles.

I'd heard about there being this many books in the palace, but had honestly never thought I'd have the honor of seeing them. I shook my head to clear it a bit and glanced back, meeting my brother's triumphant gaze. "Where are we, Bolivar?" I repeated.

He was about to answer, but another man stepped out of one of the few shadows in the room. "You are in the Church of the Walls, my dear girl. I am known as Father Samuel."

I shook my head again, this time in disbelief and denial. "Whatever you're selling, I refuse. Bolivar, we're going home." I strode across the room, grabbing his hand now, and attempted to pull him out to the street. An arm wrapped around my thin shoulders and spun me back around, back to what was apparently the chapel.

"Do not be afraid, my dear. Let me show you the wonders of our Church."

 _No. Nononono. **NO!**_

"No!" I yelled, jolting up from the dirt, brushing off roots and leaves and stumbling to my feet. My head pounded as I forced myself through the branches and into the light of day. I raised a hand to my eyes, sheltering them from the brilliant dawn, and began the trek back to the castle.

I met Lauri on my way in, and he looked me up and down, "Did you sleep outside?" he asked, laughing when I glared. "Get changed and grab some food. Training starts early today."

"Yes, sir," I muttered, stopping again when an elbow bumped my arm. I raised an eyebrow at my superior, my question clear in my eyes.

"It's Lauri, Amaya."

That brought a small smile to my lips, and I nodded, "Sure thing, Lauri." He smiled as well and continued out to what would be our training grounds for the day, Aza quick on his heels. She grinned at me as she passed, a bounce in her step. That girl's energy never ceased to amaze me. How I got stuck with a morning person in my Brigade, I would never know. Resigning myself to the rest of the no doubt long and grueling day, I trudged up the stairs to do as ordered and get changed.

* * *

Levi was just about to get up and go demand Lieutenant Nieves get out of bed when she limped through the door of the mess hall. A truly terrible name, mess hall.

Levi was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw Erwin wave her over to the table he, Levi, and Hange occupied. She nodded, grabbed a cup of water, and joined them. Hange tilted their head to the side, eyes narrowing as they regarded the small Lieutenant. "Only water?"

"With this hangover, it's best I don't eat much 'til lunch, sir," Amaya mumbled, swinging her legs over the bench.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Hange whispered, waving the woman close, then, to Levi's and Erwin's eternal shock, said, "Ma'am."

Amaya's eyes looked like they were about to cross from her thoughts running so fast, and she stared in bewilderment at the other woman. "Wa-wait, what? Why're you telling me?"

Hange shrugged, a broad grin on her face. "You seem trustworthy."

Rolling his eyes, annoyed that she hadn't told him sooner, Levi snapped, "So, where'd you go last night?"

At this, Amaya groaned and slumped down onto the table, "Please never allow me to drink alcohol again."

Levi's eyebrow rose, as did Erwin's, and Hange patted her shoulder sympathetically. "Hangover that bad?"

Amaya sat up, leaning her chin in one hand, her elbow propped on the table. "A mix of that and a pretty bad nightmare, and what was probably a hallucination. That's why I was outside last night, I thought I saw someone wandering the grounds."

"So why didn't you come get one of us?" Erwin asked, his impressive brows pulling together.

Amaya groaned again and wiped her forehead with the back of a hand. "Because I was drunk and acting stupid."

Levi snorted, and Amaya turned a glare to him. Erwin rolled his eyes, then stood. "We should get going for today's training. Anything else you want to say, Lieutenant?"

"Just one thing, sir." Amaya stood as well, grinning at her superior. "Whoever decided we should have white uniform pants should be shot."

Levi snorted again, this time in amusement. "Meet you all outside," he muttered, striding out of the mess hall and into the early morning air. The light of the sun shimmered off the dew on the nearby fields, giving the morning an air of cheerfulness. Levi wasn't too fond of cheerfulness. He grumbled to himself, secretly glad no one could hear him, and trudged to the edge of the trees, where the ring for today had been set up. All it really was was two ropes parallel to each other and the ground strung between two trees and two posts, similar to a boxing ring. Just much smaller.

Captain Jarvi and Private Boye were already there, presumably having set up the ring, and were sitting in the grass near it. Private Boye was the first to see him, and hopped up into a hasty salute. "Good morning, sir!" Captain Jarvi was quick to do the same.

"Hm," was his response. "At ease." The two MP's nodded and dropped their salutes, remaining on their feet as they waited for the rest of the Survey Corp and MP's to arrive. Levi, in his boredom, leaned against a tree and stared up at the passing clouds. Before he knew it, he was uncharacteristically spaced out. He was only brought back to reality by Hange bumping his arm. He glared at her, but she just grinned.

Huh. He'd really have to get used to that.

The other commanding officers joined them under the maple tree, Amaya still limping though she tried to hide it. Levi wasn't the only one to notice, and Commander Erwin waved her closer to him. "Yes, sir?" she asked, her tone hesitant.

"Based off your injuries, it would be wise for you to sit out today."

Her face fell, but she didn't dare object. Shame. Levi really wanted a new reason to hate her, and self-destructive behavior was as good as any. "Then shall I explain the objective of the day?" asked Captain Jarvi, and Commander Erwin nodded. "Attention!" The lower-ranking officers snapped to salute at his bellow. Pawns, the lot of them.

"As you can hopefully guess," Captain Jarvi continued, "we will again be sparring today. Unlike yesterday, your space will be severely limited. This can both be an advantage and a hindrance, so keep that in mind and watch the corners." He smiled while saying the last part, and several others chuckled nervously. With a final nod from Captain Jarvi, they split into their groups from the previous session to wait their turn. First was Private Boye with Jean and Connie.

"I should have asked yesterday," began Commander Erwin, speaking to Amaya, "but could you introduce us to your team?"

She flashed a faint smile, and again Levi noticed it was almost uncomfortable. "It should have been the first thing I did. My apologies." She nodded to the farthest corner of the ring, where a somewhat short brunet man laughed with Eren and Sasha. "That's Ezra Ledford. Not the best fighter, but with brains enough for ten soldiers."

Next was a tall, black haired man. He was built along the lines of Reiner, but had a much less arrogant demeanor. "That's Jess Carver. The exact opposite of Ezra, but the most loyal friend you'll ever have." After him, she pointed out a woman of average height with noticeably dark skin, hair, and eyes. "Kaya Harmon. Top of her class in tactics and ODMG."

After her was another woman of average height, this one with dark blonde hair and pale blue eyes. "Amber Mercer. Also very agile with the ODMG, and very quick witted."

The rest of her introductions were as succinct and, for lack of better words, sung praises. There was Nadine Albert, Eliade Floros, Liza Swift, Niilo Ranta, Damyan Rowan, and Audric Durant. Top of the class, agile with the ODMG, sharp-minded, strongest in their class. Levi couldn't help but be suspicious.

"Aren't you all a little _too_ gifted?" he asked when the introductions were over.

"That's entirely the point of being part of this Brigade," Amaya shot back, not meeting his eyes, instead watching the match.

"And... Your meaning is?"

She sighed, clearly annoyed, "Our brigade was designed from the beginning to take down a very specific ring of criminals in the capitol city. They had infiltrated the Military Police and government, and we needed the best of the best to take them down." The next part was muttered, and Levi only just barely caught it, "It's why I choose them."

"So why didn't you disband afterwards?" Hange asked, her head tilting to the side again.

Amaya's eye twitched, "Because we're still working on it. We only just finished putting together our team about a year ago with the last graduating class, when Aza joined up."

"And not Cadet Leonhart?" Commander Erwin asked, his brows pulling together.

"No, she's only here for this mission. Don't ask me why, only our branch commander knows." Her gaze remained fixed on the match as Aza danced around Jean and Connie, obviously enjoying herself. She'd been at it for so long, Captain Jarvi called the match in her favor and let the two Cadets rest.

The rest of the morning was fairly uneventful, and everyone, yes, even Levi, was glad to get inside for lunch. The normal din felt deafening today, after having been used to the quiet of a single team, and Levi left most of his lunch to head back outside. He didn't expect Eren to follow him to the steps, but who cared, really?

The two sat in silence, staring at the stables as the horses ate and ate, without a care in the world. Their next companion was much less welcome, however.

"Mind if I join you?" Amaya asked as she held the door open.

"Yes, I do actually. Piss off back inside." Levi snapped, annoyed at his temporary peace being broken already.

And with that, Amaya glowered, strode over to the steps, and plopped down next to Eren. "Thank you for the invitation." Levi rolled his eyes and snorted at her impudence, but he had been expecting it after the night before. Little thorn, indeed.

Eren saw this as an opportunity to get to know her a little better, and smiled before asking, "If it's okay for me to ask, what happened this morning?"

Amaya huffed, and Eren turned away. She was silent for another moment before saying, "I followed a hallucination, got myself injured, and passed out outside. Woke up with a hangover and a twisted ankle." She sounded bored, and stared at the nails of one hand.

"Ah," Eren murmured, then turned back to her, "Why did you join the MP's?"

She laughed, a short and harsh sound without any humor. "To be honest, I was hoping to whip them into shape a bit. So far, I've got thirteen honest soldiers out of my personal campaign."

Levi rolled his eyes, but continued to listen as they continued. "And what exactly does your Brigade do?" Eren was sounding less and less hesitant, and had sat up a bit straighter.

"We're working on taking out a certain ring of criminals. A group of radicals known for murder."

"Really?" The Cadet sounded a little bewildered. "And you don't mind fighting others of your own race?"

"Eren." Even though she hadn't spoken his name, Levi glanced her way from her tone. Strained, tired. Her gaze was haunted, and it was one Levi knew well. "I learned a long time ago that humans are the real monsters." The two men were silent, and she flashed them a jaded smile. "I think I've taken up enough of your time. I'll see you both at target practice." She stood with a groan and a painful pop of her ankle, beginning to walk back inside.

"Isn't that a waste of ammunition?" Levi asked, standing as well and giving her a look that clearly said she was an idiot.

"It would be, if we were using guns," Amaya turned back to smirk at her commanding officer. "That's why we're using knives."

* * *

 **A/N: I am so very, very sorry this took so long. Long story short, major technical troubles and a lack of a muse to write anything. That's over now, and I should be back to more frequent update. As always, a big thank you to Frantastic1993! Keep being awesome!**

 **Disclaimer: I think we all know who really owns Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin.**


	4. Small Acts Of Defiance

_**...Chapter Four: Small Acts Of Defiance...**_

For the first time since yesterday morning, Levi thought on the switch from his normal behavior, to that of now. For one thing, just earlier that day, he'd been completely spaced while staring at _clouds._ And though he was loathe to admit, the Commander was right. He disliked most people on default, but he didn't hate them. First Lieutenant Nieves was a special case, and he wanted to know _why._

He walked in front of the large group returning to the treeline, where a line of targets, each with a cluster of knives in the bulls eye, now stood to replace the ring from that morning. Simple enough.

"As you may have guessed," began Captain Jarvi from beside Levi, who began to follow the taller man with his eyes, careful not to turn his body. "The rest of today's training will be target practice. Sounds simple, right?" he asked, a hint of humor in his tone. The lower ranking officers were slowly getting used to having such a calm and kind commanding officer, but some still saw it as odd. Levi was one of them. This was the military, for heaven's sake, not a bed and breakfast.

"Aiming a knife is very different from aiming a gun, and Warrant Officer Audric Durant will be showing you the basics. Now, please form lines of... Yes, Cadet?" Lauri's eyes were set on the horse-faced Cadet that Levi frequently saw Eren argue with, and the brat had raised a hand, expression one of deep confusion.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, sir, but what does this training regime hope to accomplish?" He didn't look sorry in the least, in Levi's honest opinion.

Lauri smiled, ever patient, and nodded slowly. "I was waiting for that question. To be frank with you, it's to judge your personal strengths. We plan to hold three trails, one of which is already over. The sparring, to determine your hand to hand. Second, the one we are about to begin, is aim. And the last will be military tactics. Along with finding your strengths, we will figure out your weaknesses of the three." He paused, holding Jean's gaze. "We will first re-hone your strengths, then train you in the skills you aren't as fine tuned in."

"Creating perfect soldiers..." And there was that obnoxiously deep voice, speaking from Levi's left. He lazily turned his head to meet Amaya's eyes. He didn't know when she got there, and he didn't care. But how did he not hear her steps?

He huffed, turning back to the targets where the first group were collecting their knives. "And why would you care about the Survey Corps having better soldiers?"

Levi could practically hear her rolling her eyes. "I care about all the branches. And your Corps is our best bet in getting _out_ of these stupid walls."

The first projectiles hit the targets. "The fuck? Why would an MP want to leave the walls? You sure you're all there in the head?"

"Nope!" Amaya popped the second syllable. "And I've been told I'm rather like a cat. Hate to be contained."

 _Well, that's one thing we have in common_ , he thought. He began to say something biting about her hygiene compared to that of a cat's, but it was cut off when the pounding of approaching hoof beats reached the trees. Every eye turned to the road leading to the HQ, a nervous muttering beginning when the patch on the single visitor's cloak was visible.

Military Police.

"Were you... Expecting a late arrival?" Levi worried about the answer.

"Not that I'm aware of..."

The combined group waited in a tense silence as the new MP drew closer, the members of Amaya's Brigade sharing odd glances and shrugging in confusion. Even Lauri, the highest ranking officer and therefore the one who should receive news first, seemed bewildered. The visitor took his sweet time reaching them, and then dismounting. His shit-eating smirk conveyed that he thought himself better than anyone before him, and he sauntered up to the Commander with an envelope in hand.

"Sergeant Kline, sir, with news from the capitol." The fact that he didn't salute set Levi's teeth on edge, and the low growl from his left told him Amaya felt the same. "If you and the Captains Levi and Jarvi would follow me?"

"Why the hell should we?" Levi spat, his eyes darkening.

Kline turned to him and had the audacity to look bored. "This is something that involves all of you. It's best you're present."

"If that will be all," Erwin cut in, "my office would be the best place to discuss this." He kept his expression carefully blank and waved the other three back to HQ.

Amaya sighed as they left, "Then I guess I'll be taking over here-"

"On second thought..." called Kline, smirking at the small woman, "I believe Lieutenant Nieves should be there as well."

Levi nearly snorted. Of _course_ the shitty midget had to follow along. He watched her expression rapidly change from confusion, to anger, then suspicion, before settling on disinterest. Levi could tell it was forced, but said nothing as she trudged behind them after whispering something to Second Lieutenant Yenin. The trip to Erwin's office was as silent as the dead, and so tense one could probably cut the air with a knife.

The normally spacious office felt cramped, like the walls were closing in on the bringer of ill news, not that Levi would object. Said MP had instantly claimed one of the two chairs on the near side of Erwin's desk, and Levi was quick to sit in the other. Amaya and Lauri stood at attention on either side of the door, and Erwin slowly sank into his own chair and folded his hands on his desk. "Now, Sergeant Kline, if you would be so kind as to tell us this... News."

There was that stupid smirk again. "Just don't shoot the messenger," Kline said as he began to tear open the envelope.

"I make no such promises," Levi said, staring straight ahead.

Kline paused, and Levi felt a tinge of sick enjoyment at the way his hands shook for a moment. "A-anyway. This reads, ' _Based on the events of the failed 57th expedition outside the walls, by order of the king, the Titan shifter Eren Yeager is to be sent to the capitol district of Stohess, to be handed over to the Military Police Commander Nile Dok. His fate will be decided by a court of Military Police. The Commander and Captain of the Survey Corps will be placed under arrest and accompany him. They will be court marshaled for their crimes. The Brigade led by Captain Jarvi are to return to the capitol with them, and are to resume to their duties there upon return.'"_

With one last smirk, Kline folded the letter and handed it to Erwin, who glanced over it before placing it down on his desk. "I'll be honest, I was expecting this eventually."

Kline nodded, standing, "Well, if that's all... Nieves, Jarvi, you have your orders-"

"And if we refuse?" The room went still, the men staring blankly at Amaya who glared at Kline. "And that's Ma'am to you." Levi's hackles rose at the icy tone of her voice, the temperature of the room seemingly dropping.

"Well, uh... Ma'am, you'll be arrested along with them, and it's likely a trail for treason will take place." For the second time since his arrival, Kline looked nervous. _Good,_ thought Levi. _Let him squirm._ "I think I should be going now..."

"Yes, I think you should," Erwin, crossed one ankle over the opposite knee, staring coldly at the visitor. Kline nearly bolted from the room, but the dark atmosphere didn't lift. The Commander rested his head in one palm while the others waited, and when he finally wiped his forehead they were almost leaning forward to hear him. "I also think it's time to use that plan..."

"Uh... What plan... Sir?" Lauri asked, brow pulling together and eyes darkening.

The Commander sighed. "Hange, Cadets Ackerman, Yeager, and Arlet, get in here!"

* * *

I met Hange's eyes as she strode in, silently begging for an explanation, but she just shrugged and smiled. Hange claimed the chair next to Captain Levi, and as Armin closed the door, Lauri and I moved closer to the desk with Eren and Mikasa. The Commander continued to stare at his folded hands, and Lauri and I were getting antsy.

"Sir... What plan?" I repeated, honestly fearing the answer.

"We believe..." the Commander began, tenting his fingers and staring at us over them, "that we know who the Female Titan is."

The silence following his statement was deafening, stifling. Almost accusing on Lauri's end. Seeing no one else wanting to take the initiative, I again spoke, "And who might that be, sir?" Anyone whose name he answered with would probably be unfamiliar to me. At least, so I hoped.

The Commander moved his chair back to stand, but never quite got up. Instead, he leaned back and rested his chin in a palm. "That, as you can imagine, is not an easy question to answer. I'll stop now, and allow Cadet Arlet to speak."

Armin squirmed, obviously not liking being put on the spot. "Well... I began to suspect her when I saw her turn in Marco Bott's ODMG for inspection, instead of her own. Then, there was," he gulped, eyes tight, "There was the first encounter with the Female Titan, when she lifted my hood. She looked like someone I knew from training." He paused again, fists clenching. "And lastly, her fighting style, even in Titan form, is very unique."

"You're telling us all this," said Lauri, looking uncharacteristically annoyed, "but you won't tell us who it is."

I glared at him, and he backed down a tad. "While I agree with Captain Jarvi, I know there must be a reason for you not outright telling us. But please, who is it?"

Armin sighed, slumping a bit. Mikasa rested a hand on his arm in an attempt to comfort him, while Eren looked as confused as I felt. Finally, Armin spoke again, "I believe the Female Titan is really Cadet Annie Leonhart."

"Ha!" Lauri shouted, whether in disbelief or amusement, I couldn't tell. "That's a real big accusation, Cadet."

"No, it makes sense."

All eyes turned back to me, and Eren's were horrified. "How can you say that?!" he demanded of me. "She'd our friend, a comrade!"

"Remember what I told you and Captain Levi earlier, Eren? Humans are the real monsters of this world, and you can't trust them blindly." It was a rather jaded opinion, I knew that well, but it was the truth in this situation. After living and working in the underbelly of society for so long, it was my only way of thinking. But these, Scouts, rookies, hadn't yet seen the horrors that a human could create. But I served in the Military Police. I saw the lowliest shit on earth, and it was the humans we had sworn to serve."

The rest of the discussion was hushed, almost hurried, as Commander Erwin told us the plan of tricking the other MP's with a decoy while Eren and his friends lured Annie away from the main streets. We were released to tell our other Brigade leader and to pack what little belongings we had brought with us. He didn't take the news well, to put it mildly.

"What the fuck are you two talking about?!" he shouted, and I slapped the back of his head. We were in my borrowed room, but walls had ears.

"I'm sorry, I really am." Lauri said in a vain attempt to calm him down some.

"These are no small acts of defiance you're talking about," Dmitri continued, on his feet with hands outstretched, pleading with us, " _this is treason."_

"We know," I said, leaning against the wall, "but it's our only option." After saying this, I ushered them out to pack their own bags, and rushed to do the same. It wasn't until an unfamiliar shirt fell off a hanger that I began to pay attention to what I was doing. I leaned to pick it up, and the material was soft, well loved. I got curious, and sniffed the faint floral scent wafting from it. I instantly regretted it.

Roses. Petra's favorite.

I'd been given her room.

The realization struck me like a ton of bricks, and the tears from the news of her passing were back in full force. I slid down the wall, the button up still clutched in my grasp as sob after aching sob left my chest. She was too kind, too pure, and that had cursed her to die young. And I was too blunt and brash, so I would probably live to see all my friends die along with her.

* * *

 **This chapter is a bit short, I know, and I apologize for that. But the main plot is beginning to roll. A big, heartfelt thank you as always to my wonderful beta, Frantastic1993~!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not or claim to own Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin.**


	5. Balm the Burns

_**...Chapter** **Five: Balm The Burns...**_

I didn't know how long I stayed planted on the floor, nor did I care. My tears had long since dried when a faint, almost hesitant knock sounded on the door, and a I numbly stood, wiping at moisture that was no longer there. It was only after I'd done so that it registered I'd done so with Petra's shirt. Stopping in my tracks for a moment, a second, much more annoyed knock sounded.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard ya." I called, again striding to the door and yanking it open, fully expecting to see Dmitri or Lauri, maybe even the Commander.

Not the Captain.

It took every ounce of tact I held, though that was not much, to not slam the door in his face and lock it for good measure. Instead, I raised a brow and stepped aside, allowing access to the mostly empty space. Captain Levi nodded as polite as anything, stepping around me and to one of the plain wooden chairs. "Might I ask what you came here for, sir?"

He remained silent as he sat down, he gaze fixed on the shirt in my grasp. At the rose petal that fell from the pocket as I waved him in. Finally, after at least two minutes, his eyes met mine, the expression in them forlorn. "That's the shirt she wore the day she signed up to my regiment. I remember the rose in her lapel."

 _As if I needed any more downer thoughts today..._ "Thank you for telling me, sir. But that's not what I asked."

The Captain sighed and leaned back, tipping the front legs off the ground ever so slightly. "You mentioned something a while ago."

"I mentioned a lot of things a while ago, you will have to be more specific." Annoyed? Who, me? _Never..._ I was just... Peeved, that's the word.

Captain Levi sighed through his nose and dropped back to the floor. "The group you happen to be going after, there's something you're not telling us about it."

Well, damn. He had me there, and I was beginning to think he was a mind reader. Or had gone snooping through my file. Likely the latter; he may have acted superhuman, but I doubted he really was. "No, I didn't tell you the whole truth, sir-"

"Levi."

"I'm sorry?" I asked, after he snapped yet again. But this was new, in the few days I'd known the man.

He once more glared at me, his expression flashing to one of faint annoyance. "My name is _Levi,_ not _sir_."

I blinked once. Twice. Thrice, as I attempted to make sense of his statement. Twice in two days had a superior now told me to refer to them by their given names. This was odd, even for our military. I'd heard stories about armies of the past, and this would have never happened then. Still, it wasn't exactly an unwelcome change. But he'd asked a question... What was it again?

Oh! "You're correct, si-, Levi."

Now it was his turn to blink in confusion. "Pardon?"

Sighing, I flung the shirt across the room, earning an eye twitch from the Captain, and flipped the second chair around, straddling it. "There's something I didn't say; but I'm positive you know what it was." It was only safe to assume so, anyway. Why else would he go to me and not my superior?

"Amaya Nieves." He began, his eyes once again shadowed. I nodded once for him to continue, not trusting my quick temper to speak. He sat up straighter, facing me head on. "Were you a member of the Church of the Walls?"

The sound of the organization's name that essentially tore my happy, ignorant life apart resulted in a tremor in my hands, and a chill down my spine. For them to bother me this much, after so many years... That irked me. My breath quaking as I exhaled, I nodded yet again, and the lump in my throat passed. Yet I still refused to meet those shadowed eyes. "Yes... Yes, Levi, I was. A low ranking member, but a member nonetheless."

The Captain snorted, and I finally glanced up. He looked, for lack of a better word, relieved. My brows pulled together, and he shook his head with the smallest of smiles. "I knew I hated you for a reason," he stated, canting his head to the side.

"Do you? Do you really hate me?"

And again, it was his turn to look confused. He almost, almost, bit his lip, I could see it, but he somehow resisted. Still playing that game of emotionless-ness, I suppose. The Captain glanced back up, the shade over his brow gone, and he said, "I don't really know. I guess not anymore, as odd as that sounds."

"Hmph," I snorted, swinging my good leg over the chair, then instantly regretting it as my weight rested on my bad one for a second. Grimacing, I waved to the door, and he nodded. As he stood and strode to the door, I grabbed his arm just in time to stop him. The shadow was back, but I refused to let it deter me. "I don't think I hate you either. Levi."

As I spoke the last word, an unfamiliar flash lit his eyes, but he simply pulled his sleeve free and turned back to the door. But he paused as his hand grabbed the handle. The Captain sighed heavily, and the handle was turned as he limped out, to where I did not know, as the door was closed immediately behind him.

* * *

Levi kept his hand clenched on the opposite handle, his breath uneven as he struggled to make sense of his thoughts over the midget. Such honesty, and to someone she claimed to have hated just a day ago. And she didn't chicken out when he insisted she call him by his given name?

Granted, she couldn't very well use his family name; that was out of the question.

Growling, his hand dropped as he stepped backwards til he stood back flat to the other wall. He remained staring at the door that encased the room Petra once occupied, now an even smaller woman, and just as talented. He had, in fact, glanced at her file the night before. And to say what met his curious mind had surprised him, to over simplify it, and lessened his dislike of Amaya.

Ten Titan kills, two solo and eight in a team. Not exactly as many as Petra, but _when_ she completed these kills shocked him most. Five years ago, almost exactly. Right around the time the wall was first breached in Eren's home district. Actually, that day to the very second. She had been there, and as had Petra. They had in fact been in the same graduating class, even the same team for a short time. They had made those eight kills together, and had no doubt been close.

So who was he to judge Amaya for being slightly salty about meeting the superior officer who led Petra to her death? At least, that's what caused the initial reaction in his mind.

Growling again, his annoyance over the whole matter building, he stalked off down the hall and up the final staircase to his own room. Or rather, rooms, since his bedroom had an attached bath. A quite pleasant thing to have when you have an obsession with cleanliness and other shitheads don't know how to keep anything tidy.

But he digressed. He had clothes to pack, lest some other shit-for-brains did it for him and creased his suits. Limping to the closet, he took out three of his best and placed them just so in an open case. Closing it with as much care as humanly possible, he carried it to the outside of his room, where it would sit until a cadet came to carry it out to the carriage, where he and Erwin were to be 'monitored' by Amaya and Captain Jarvi.

Kind of disconcerting to think about, now that he put his mind to it. Both had been to Hell and back in the first Titan raids, and had been successful enough in their training to make it out alive with honors. And had since then created the second most deadly Military Police Brigade. Who the hell was in the first, no one quite seemed to know.

That thought was even more disconcerting, as Levi had one guess as to who it may be.

Levi was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock to his door, and now he felt much like Amaya had no doubt felt half an hour before. Trapped in a small space, with whomever stood on the other side of the door in control. A feeling he didn't much care for.

"Come in!" he called, settling down on his bed with his bad ankle crossed over his good knee, his left hand absentmindedly massaging it as in walked Eren, looking more than a little shaky. From what this time, Levi didn't know nor care. Based off the suitcase behind his feet, Levi could guess why he was up on this level, but not why Eren had dared to enter the Captain's private, spic and span space. The stupid brat probably had mud on his boots...

"Sir... It's time to head out," said Eren as he stared at the floorboards.

Ah. So that's why he was shaking.

"Noted," Levi replied, again standing and pushing past the rookie to hobble down the stairs, still taking them two at a time. He couldn't appear too weakened, now could he? As he made his way through the four levels of the castle, he saw every member of the Scouts nervously chatting in the halls, pushing against the walls to allow him to pass. Despite his best efforts, or perhaps because of, they all feared him to some degree.

Finally outside, Eren on his heels with the case, he saw Amaya and Captain Jarvi standing at attention on either side of the door to the carriage. Levi rolled his eyes as he stepped up, then stopped as Amaya broke protocol to meet his gaze. Her expression unreadable, Levi simply turned back to the carriage interior, settling in one of the seats on the right, the closest to the back. The only seat where he didn't have to watch his home fade into the early morning mist.

Funny, how he thought of that run down castle as such now.

* * *

My mind racing faster than the best horse, I stepped up into the carriage after the Commander, staring at the floor. I'd already broken protocol once, twice would reflect negatively on me. I knew Dmitri was watching my every move already, and he would be the one to submit the report on the journey. One more infraction and I was fucked over, to put it mildly.

Lauri was behind me, and he nodded politely to both commanding officers, and after him the door was shut. I sighed slightly as the horses were spurred into motion, but the sound drew three pairs of eyes. I simply examined my nails as if I hadn't been the cause of the sound. But Lauri wouldn't let me get away with bottling up my emotions; I did so for too frequently for his tastes. And his bony elbow in my side did nothing to help my sour mood. I continued my exam of my hands, but chose the wise decision in this instance and spoke.

"It's surprising, to myself at least, how quickly the government cracked down on you lot," I said, referring to the Corps. Levi remained silent, but I could sense his eyes boring a hole into my lowered head. The Commander sighed, and I could tell he was nodding.

"That is true, First Lieutenant. I suspected they would, but not quite so soon after the failed mission outside the walls."

My gaze snapped from my hands to his face, turned away from me to stare out to the world beyond. My mouth opened and shut twice in quick succession, before I again chose the wise option and did as Levi did; kept my opinions to myself. Lauri, on the opposite end of the spectrum, did exactly the last thing he should have done.

Questioned the Commander's decision.

"Then why go there in the first place?" he said, his voice holding none of the anger of the villagers, only pure curiosity. That did nothing to stop my sudden spiked irritation, and I flicked his ear, much to the other's surprise. All three gaped at me, and at my expression of something akin to fury.

"Not all of us are happy and content inside the walls. They're not called the **_wings of freedom_** for nothing!" I snapped, then continued before someone else could break my train of thought. "What, do you think caged birds are happy in their enclosures? That's exactly what we are!"

Lauri Jarvi continued to stare at me, clearly searching for words that would not further invoke my wrath. That is... Until a soft clapping sounded from the other side of the carriage. Both of our gazes turned to the Commander with faces full of confusion, just as he lowered his hands back to his lap, his eyes full of mirth. I canted my head to the left, prompting him to speak.

"That was very well put, Nieves. The driving force of our Division exactly," were his first words, and then he shocked me further with his next statement. "You'd have done well in the Survey Corps." He laughed at my expression, and my mouth hanging open, and reached over to pat me on the knee. "It's a compliment, Nieves! Please take it as such."

I raised a brow, but nodded and turned away to glance out the window. I drew in a sharp breath as I saw just how far we'd traveled. Time certainly does fly... But wasn't that only when you were having fun?

That was when Levi finally uttered a sound, something along the lines of a sigh, and my brow reached for my hairline again as I returned my attention to my commanding officers. He saw me do so and, clearly annoyed, looked me up and down, his own brow raised. "Can I help you?" he asked, his voice obviously carrying more than a hint or two of sarcasm.

I contained my smirk and shook my head, shrugging as well. "Oh, nothing, sir," I replied, emphasizing the last word. Just to earn that little eye twitch again. "It's just, when I did what you just did, I was expected to spill my every thought to cause the sigh, it's only natural for you to do the same, is it not?" I was of course just poking the bear, but some habits never die. He caught on to this, and strangely, just shrugged it off. I shrugged again, not getting the response I'd desired, then my eyes shifted to Erwin. He was...

Smiling at me?

My eyes snapped away, back to the window. The rest of the day's journey was quiet, and the setting up of camp that night was without laughter.

I skipped dinner, and had first watch. Not to look for wolves or the like, mind. To make sure no one sneaked off in the middle of the night. So you can imagine my sense of urgency when I heard footsteps nearing me. I stood as quickly as possible, slightly hindered by my ankle, and whirled to face the supposed escapee.

Eren.

But, instead of carrying a weapon, he carried a steaming bowl of stew. I huffed and rolled my eyes, saying, "Here to bribe me with food, are we?"

"No," he answered simply, settling down in my spot, _my spot,_ and handing the bowl to me. "Here to make sure you don't die of hunger in the night." I again rolled my eyes and set down next to him with the warm bowl clutched between my chilled hands, and as I took my first bite, he continued. "Okay, yes, I am bribing you with food, but not to get away. I..." As he stopped, I nudged him with my elbow, still chewing. "I want to know more about those who helped me, before... Before whatever they decide for me."

I gulped my mouthful of stew heavily, sighing as I thought it over. "Alright," I said at length. "There once was a little girl-"

"What am I, five?!"

"Stay quiet! There once was a little girl, who loved her older brother very much..."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you, thank you, once again for reading! As you can guess, next chapter is more of Amaya's story, and then, they'll reach the city. And a HUGE _thank you_ to Frantastic1993, not only for continuing to believe in me, but checking on me when I needed it most. You don't know how much that meant to me, hon.**

 **Disclaimer; As always, we all know I do not own the story of AoT/ SnK. Oh how I wish I did.**


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